Time for a little levity to ease the troubled soul at bit, this is from a friend in Texas. Hope you like it!
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
My name is Tom Ford, and I want to be your Alderman from Ward Two"
Tom Ford
Ward two
No.104
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
My name is Tom Ford, and I want to be your Alderman from Ward Two"
Tom Ford
Ward two
No.104
posted by Crestwood Independent at 14:17
36 Comments:
Tom Ford,
Have you read Mayor Tom Fagan's flyers labelled "Did you receive this garbage?"
"This is the Professional Fire Fighters of Eastern Missouri IAFF Local 2665 Political Action Committee. The union leader threatened the Mayor recently because he will not give in to their demands."
"The Firefighter's union is angry because the City and the Mayor (Fagan) will not kowtow to their recent ridiculous demands. These include working only 4 hours of a 24 hour shift, no objective testing, no training in certain conditions, no merit-based pay and guaranteed job security. This is typical of how Local 2665 operates. This is the same union that was exposed by the recent St. Louis Post-Dispatch articles for their intimidation and scare tactics which offend the sensibilities of most people. When you go to the polls on Tuesday, you may see non-Crestwood Firefighters electioneering. Don't be alarmed. Tom voted to raise Firefighter's salaries and supports our department. The union is the problem here."
How did former Mayor Tom Fagan know the future?
Are you aware of any threat to our Mayor Roy Robinson by this union?
What has our Mayor Roy Robinson promised to this Firefighters union?
Has this ever happened in Crestwood before with our previous Mayors of Crestwood?
I think you need to ask Mayor Robinson, the firefighters,and who ever else your talking about.
I doubt that mr. Ford knows.
Anonymous
That was the last act of a desperate man (Fagan). TRUST ME!
Doesn't matter if that union supported Roy Robinson or not, Tom Fagan was not going to get re-elected mayor and I think we all know that. Come on people. Think about what you're saying be for you go posting, angrily trying to point fingers at our public safety workers. If we don't have them, then why even have a city. I'm glad to know that they have an interest in what goes on in this city whether they live here or not, which I am pretty certain some of them do. Maybe they never got involved before because there never was a need to. Back then the city was supposedly in good shape financially. Now look at us. It seems our policemen and firemen only want to see this city get back on solid ground. Both times that a flyer was dropped at my door last year for the bond issue, it was a public safety worker who dropped it off. The first time it was a very nice fireman who also brought my newspaper to the door. And you know what else I realized, this is the same man who has been to my house twice to replace batteries in my smoke detectors. The second flyer was delivered by a young police officer who was so worried that if the bond issue didn't pass that he didn't know what was going to happen. This man had also been to my house before when I fell and needed help getting up. This nice young man and two firemen helped me up and then this policeman took my trash to the street for me. I say that if they want to take an interest in the future of this city then we should let them. Incidentally, both these men were out delivering flyers on there own time and I assume away from their families. Why don't we cut them some slack people. Who knows, you may wake up at 2 in the morning and find that you need the assistance of some of these fine people, and maybe even need them to risk their lives to save yours . Could you look them in the eye and not feel a little awkward to say the least? I don't think I could if I were you, after taking cowardly shots at them. The past is the past. I'm not saying we should forget it but, could we please say nice things and move on before it is to late. And no, I won't be signing my name to this because I already get enough trouble from a few neighbors for having a Darryl Wallach sign in my lawn. Another story for another time. Lets just say that I am on my second sign because the first was destroyed.
The wind blows from west to east and it's Don Greer's fault.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato
Greek author & philosopher in Athens (427 BC - 347 BC)
Help me out here folks, the people who are angrily accusing the city workers of ulterior motives for supporting candidates are the same ones who are using the fear factor to sell tax increases so the services and jobs of these same employees can be saved.
Stop this insanity!!!
Voltaire:
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
I went to Sunday services today. It occurred to me that volunteerism has been a small subject of late. So what can I do to help my fellow man?
I can help by being an impartial referee. I love you all and just want our townspeople to live in an atmosphere of love and respect for one another. If you can't do that, then I'll have to referee these matches. I'll give you as much time as I can, but I can't always be there for you. Please remember to referee yourselves while I am away. This will make me very proud!
Florida Scott-Maxwell:
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
Confucious say: Rod Serling, where are you when we need you here in the Twilight Zone?
Paul Valéry:
A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key.
Back to the title of this page. I noticed that you have included a link to Computer Renaissance. I liked their information. Thank you. The city of Crestwood also has a website. Has anyone considered linking businesses in Crestwood on that site? That seems to go along with the "Shop Crestwood" motto. How about looking into supporting our businesses on the city's website. I also looked at the mall's website (the city's link did not work) and it was useful in getting store information like the closest place to park to get to the store i'm going to.
http://westfield.com/crestwood/
The city's website is good for attractions and things like that too.
Computer Renaissance gave Tom $100 for his campaign for alderman.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato
Greek author & philosopher in Athens (427 BC - 347 BC)
I received a flyer in today's mail about a Chinese Restaurant at Watson Plaza. I had thought it closed. So now we have China King, a Mexican Restaurant in the works, a Pizza Hut sub station, Red Lobster, the salad restaurant, Pasta House, Houlihans, Dillards Restaurant, Rich and Charlies, Quiznos,Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Applebees, Red Hots, and Imos, and I'm sure I missed one. Sure I miss Bread Company (a lot), Steak and Shake, Wendy's, Trotters, Olive Garden, etc. but for a small town, it would seem we do have some good choices. So when we can, let's try local chow. A wine and cheese shop, Barbeque, Frozen Custard, and coffee shop would round things out. But we can keep trying.
3/24/06
Baseball's Best Burger continues to garner press. The Grizzlies' new concession item will be featured on KSDK's Show Me St. Louis program Monday March 27. Show Me St. Louis airs weekdays from 3:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. on KSDK (Channel 5)
Grizzlies season start May 20th!
I have offered any CRESTWOOD business with a web site the use of this blog's "links" Free!
You have a CRESTWOOD business to support, have them call me, and I will link it.
This has bee an offer out there since I started this blog in October of 05, so if a business want's to use it, E-mail me.
I think it's interesting that only "two or three people ever read this site" Or don't you remember your post?
My name is Tom Ford, and I want to be your Alderman from Ward Two"
Tom Ford
Ward two
I agree with 7:58. City employees pushing passing of this tax increase is so self-serving it turns me off. Of course these people are pushing it, using the sympathy garnered for public safety employees to get us to pay more. If we are in that bad of shape, then we should have passed this bond issue last year, which would have gotten us the money up front, not a little now and a little later, which is what these people have in mind. After listening to this mayor talk, I have NO confidence in his abilities, and the new city administrator does nothing to impress me either. Seems like the are using the public safety employees to their benefit. These firemen and the mayor have an agreement because of the union supporting him last year. This isn't the kind of politics we need in Crestwood. I voted for the bond issue last year, but I have to vote no this year. Let the new board make some hard decisions about cutting costs and prove something to me before I give them anything.
Aldous Huxley:
At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols.
In response to the 6:36 Post,
I don't know about you but I look forward every year to my company giving me a cost of living increase at the very least. Read the City of Crestwood Budget report which indicates the city employees have received NOTHING in 3 years yet you criticize them for wanting the tax to pass so maybe somewhere the city will find some extra monies somewhere to give them a little relief from inflation. In addition, I think you will find that after the election, if the Tax doesn't pass, that the additional cuts that occur to keep this boat afloat might very well affect you more in the pocket book than you can possibly imagine. Your cities elected officials can only do so much with the money available to them. They are not Miracle Workers.
Thomas Jefferson:
A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned -- this is the sum of good government.
To the poster of 7:12:
You are preaching to the choir. They do not want this city to succeed. They make outrageous claims with no proof. The money figures are clear, yet they refuse to help.
They dislike the Mayor, the NEW city administrator, and the firemen and yet claim to have voted for the GO bond.
Does that make any sense? The firemen supported the GO bond last year too, but they voted FOR it then?
Why didn't that turn them off last year?
The political power structure is changing. That smells of fear.
They care about nothing but placing their candidate on that seat. City and the rest of us be damned!
They want their candidate to get the credit for fixing the problem! Like another unpopular figure (their retired hero) tried to do last year.
Problem is, their candidate will have to work triply hard to get a tax increase because of mistrust and double talk.
And they'll ask for another interest paying lump sum of money, a GO bond!
They might as well just say "Vote our Guy in, say no to taxes til next time when we ask for it!"
Or maybe it's the MAN himself pushing his message! One last stab before moving on to ravage another unsuspecting bunch of gullibles!
Martin Niemöller:
First they came for the Jews. I was silent. I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists. I was silent. I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists. I was silent. I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me. There was no one left to speak for me.
7:12 blogger - I think you are correct If Prop S passes it will not generate any additional increase in wages for our employees providing Crestwood's services. In fact, the general fund is almost $1mil in debt. (of course unless you don't count the amount in the red from last year - then the fund is balanced!) Many, many are confused about that fact.
To be sure, "Vengence is Mine, sayath the retired (hero?). The style is so obvious. Can you believe Rock Hill, O'Fallon and Sunset Hills messed up without his help? Me neither. If we have learned nothing else, it should be a balance of power shall prevail . No city manager or administrator should ever again consider themselves more than a city employee, and no elected official should have a head bigger than can fit in a baseball cap.
For the 10:18 and 10:30 blogger (singular):
I thought I'd put your statement from the other comments section here for you.
That way they can be together.
Same agenda, different places.
HMMMM
Trying awfully hard aren't we?
9:40 am 3/26 blogger - the $.441 will only pay down debt for quite awhile - it will NOT pay for services. How do you expect to do that when the general fund is almost $1mil in debt? That fund pays the employees that provide the services.
10:25 PM, March 27, 2006
Don't misquote.
God instructed people not to seek vengeance.
"Vengeance is mine, so sayeth The Lord."
Only God was to seek vengeance for wrongdoing.
You must not be very familiar...?
You know what's FUNNY?
You are tearing yourselves apart from within!!!!!
You're fighting amongst yourselves now. and no one has to do anything but sit back and laugh!
YOU ALL PUT ANONYMOUS BAGS OVER YOUR HEADS AND YOUR PUNCHING YOUR OWN FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Now that's some crazy sh*t!"
hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha
Quote "Same agenda, different places. HMMMM"
I guess you are more concerned attacking individuals, their friends, fellow church goers, company's they work for, union or not union, etc.
The comment I made was fact. Try and twist that around, you seem to be pretty good at it.
Comments have been made to state facts, not fiction or rumors, etc. The comment above just confirms that this site does not like facts, just smears and gossip.
My point was even if the Prop S passes, it will not generate any additional money to pay for services. Seems that doesn't matter. Since this has not been addressed at a BOA meeting, I guess I should not worry about the almost $1mil debt from last year.???????
For those of us not totally aware of the situation with the Crestwood Fire Dept. handling the original part of the city and Affton Fire Dist. handling the annexed part, will someone explain this in layman's terms and how it came to be that a town of 12,000 people, 4 sq. miles could need 2 fire departments. Not sure incorporating is such a good idea, would seem not a lot of logic involved here money wise for residents except for turf protection and advanatage to the annexed people. If this is true, don't ask me for a tax increase. This split service situation certain sets the services up for reconsideration. I am serious when I say I'd appreciate some sort of explanation for this arrangement. Also, which hospital is the Crestwood paramedics linked to in recovery operations? How many paramedics does the city have and how many firemen? All these employees would stand a better chance of a raise, etc. if whatever rule governs this strange separation of departments was revised. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Time we remembered this.
Thanks.
I have looked into this a little bit about two different fire department covering the city. When we annexed that area, Affton fire department covered that area. According to state law they retain that area for fire protection and we have to pay them somewhere around $300,000 annually. I do know that they have to cover each others area per a county mutual aid agreement, just like every other department in the county and I think even the metro area. If we were to not have our own city department and had Affton covering all of us then our tax rate would be even higher. I think Affton residents pay somewhere around $.80 per $100 for just fire protection where we pay $.24 per $100 for all our city services. If we pass the tax issue we still pay only $.44 per $100. Talking from experience ( I had to call them when my son broke his arm)I do know that we have several paramedics. I am not sure which hospital they use but I bet if you called city hall they would put you in touch with someone who could tell you and answer any other questions about your services.
Thanks for a very nice answer. Do you or someone else know which state law is involved and how it came to be? With knowledge comes understanding and that is what I need. I know there is usually an explanation, but $300,000 is a lot of money and this kind of agreement does tend to compromise independent fire departments doesn't it? Within minutes of smoke at a house on my street, there were 4 fire departments on standby right behind our pumpers. Recipricol agreements are working well.
I too was interested and looked up that information quite easily on the internet. It seems that fire districts are like special school districts and sewer district. They are a special governmental entity that taxes.
Each fire district may raise and lower its taxes by voter approval.
The information you seek on why the boundaries of the annexed area are still covered by Affton fire is at
http://www.moga.mo.gov/statutes/c300-399/3210000322.htm
It states that when a city annexes an area covered by a fire protection district, that the district is entitled to payment that it otherwise would have received from those annexed taxpayers. The city and the district agree upon a fair price.
Which I can only assume was done at the time we annexed that area.
The language is difficult to understand, but the concept is that Affton fire protection district protected that area and lost revenue when it was taken into Crestwood. They had a right to that tax dollar and when it was lost they must have made an agreement with the city for the fair dollar share of what they were losing.
I also must assume that the annexed people felt a huge tax burden relieved when they no longer had to pay their 80 cents on the hundred for fire protection and were reduced to the 20 or so that Crestwood assessed.
Hope that helps you. It sure enlightened me.
One more point to help with the above. The city apparently annexed that area because they needed a higher number of populants to collect more of the sales tax revenue that was being split due to the Hancock Amendment. If the city actually received more of the share of the sales tax pie, they may have felt that paying the fire district would be offset by the greater amount of money they received in sales taxes.
You are correct that was what the thinking was at the time. The City got more revenue than just the sales tax and the cost to service the area was minimal so even with the fire district payment the City made money on the deal.
Additionaly the City was trying to interest Grantwood Village in contracting with it for police services... so it made sense to annex the area inbetween Crestwood and Grantwood Village.
The additional part was that Buzz Westfall was still in office at the time and that at some point he might try and open the sales tax issue again and have ALL the 1% sales tax distributed based on population. The more people Crestwood had the better off it would be. He did it once, why wouldn't he try again.
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