This was not written by me ( I received it in an email from a friend,) but it does sort of "tell it like it is," so read and enjoy.
Translations of Common Euphemisms
DEMOCRAT : REPUBLICAN :
Arsenal of Weapons: Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands: Swamp
Undocumented Worker: Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials: Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery: Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed: Well-protected
Narrow-minded: Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share: Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun: Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives: Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass: Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity: Socialism
Multicultural Community: High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress: Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich ": Self-Employed
Progressive,: Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged: Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle: Deer Rifle with scope
Investment For the Future: Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform: Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental,: Conservative
Truants: Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed: Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine: Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot: Attends Church
Fair Trade Coffee: Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich ": Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby: NRA Members
Assault Weapon: Semi-Automatic handgun
Fiscal Stimulus: New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting: Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
Accepted Fact: Horse feathers
Kind of cute no matter what side you come down on, no?
Tom Ford
NO. 982