It looks like it's time to lighten up a bit again, "from Dale's Blog"
Random Thoughts
September 25th, 2006
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
“Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater.”
Albert Einstein
“If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!”
“Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating.”
“file to shape, bash to fit and paint to cover.”
“I don’t grow up. In me is the small child of my early days” — M.C. Escher
Mechanic on the line: Hand me a screwdriver.
Mechanic at toolbox: Phillips or common?
Mechanic on the line: Ether one, I am going to as a hammer.
“If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”
– by Albert Einstein
“Malicious compliance” - carefully doing exactly what one has been instructed to do, in the knowledge that what the Authority asked for is fundamentally different from what they meant.
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”
Tom Ford
No.227
September 25th, 2006
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
“Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater.”
Albert Einstein
“If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!”
“Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating.”
“file to shape, bash to fit and paint to cover.”
“I don’t grow up. In me is the small child of my early days” — M.C. Escher
Mechanic on the line: Hand me a screwdriver.
Mechanic at toolbox: Phillips or common?
Mechanic on the line: Ether one, I am going to as a hammer.
“If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”
– by Albert Einstein
“Malicious compliance” - carefully doing exactly what one has been instructed to do, in the knowledge that what the Authority asked for is fundamentally different from what they meant.
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”
Tom Ford
No.227
posted by Crestwood Independent at 20:08
16 Comments:
OOP'S, well here's another one!
Louisiana Life
Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear.
"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" Jack asked.
"Oh man...I've been transferred to Louisiana," the other guy answered.
"There's crazy people in Louisiana and they have shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate..."
"Hold on," Jack interrupted, "I've lived in Louisiana all my life, and it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work,
mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."
The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said,"Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there
and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack, "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck in Shreveport!"
Tom Ford
A = X + Y + Z
Is X Rosebrook Real Estate stockholders like Alderman Pickel, Alderman Kelleher, Alderman Duwe, and former Alderman Gary Vincent?
Is Y Joan Robinson goals with business commmunity?
Is Z Attorney Robert and Attorney Ann Golterman goals?
IS A an increase in Real Estate Taxes for both the citizens of Crestwood and business community?
What's your point?
Who is running Crestwood into a merger?
Is it time for Mayor Roy Robinson to resign?
someone on this blog must have flunked algebra...either spell it out in English or Call Town Talk in the Suburban Journals.
From one of our valued readers!
My apologies to any blondes who read this.
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How Blonde Is She???
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She was Soooooooo Blonde
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
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She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
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She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
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She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
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AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company
Tom Ford
Crestwood merger? Roy Robinsion resigning? Why are these questions being asked?
Questions regarding mergers and resignations, as mentioned in the last blog, are rumors started by people/crudites, lads and lassies, as described below. People unable to work within the confines of decency. People unable to grasp what the community needs to solve its current problems. People who don't care that they are sucking the spirit out of our city with their silly and childish retaliations and disabling politics. Sadly these people are known. Even worse, I know them.
****** ******* *******
"It is with glee, euphoria, palpitations and spasmodic joy that things in Crestwood are so rosy that one or more crudites are surfacing on this blog, by the hour, daily, to jest and make merry and ask stigmatized questions. Ah, cause celebre!
I had no idea this city could spawn souls with such a lack of charm, originality and wit. I thought they were all in Bagdad. I had no idea there was such a lack of kindness, goodwill, maturity and dignity just a click of my mouse away courtesy of the proud members of Three(legged)Dog Night with its gleaming board of Yada's and Yawns and pool protectors. Now I know.
Here among us, in the midst of a city searching for its center, are these avid teamer types, these spirited low roader servants of a lesser God willing to lead their distressed,thirsty, over stressed ilk back from their former paths of temptation and their Planet of the Apes mentality to a new high of BS for which there seems no cure. These city patriots are all seemingly excused from the constraint of intelligence. Free from pangs of guilt, truth and fact; free from the hinderance of any form of character and civility. Alas, this sweetheart percent of our citizenry, so minus civic pride, integrity and fairness dreams only of a city held in their crude hands again, while pulpitizing us with a negative name calling irrereverant KINGness only worthy pawns could provide - all on a free podium, a BLOG.
Where else can one go and find the Frankenstienien quality of a teamer who can match the spittle of this Shepard of our City along with a wanton overwrought band of outcasts, who so bravely use this blog as a soapbox of rage, spite, and discontent to facilitate further distress and who work with diligence to revert back to the evils of the past 3 years?
It is not surprising to see this true and self-anoited city savior surface so proudly and so often on this blog, standing on a demented stage of rotten lumber with the safety of anonymous. It is one of my favorite pastimes, this tuning in to read our Friend Mr. Tough! It makes me feel like my life is truly purpose driven.
As we glorify in the beauty and sanctitude of the season and the missing charm and intelligence of this heady barfer of whom I speak, (who sheds his thin skin with scales of wrath minus the incumbancy of more positive winds for our future, and minus the celebration of our shared pride in our community's well being)this ever-ready whineypouter-rumormongerstarter-bully-sad sack-bottomfeeder remains the cherub of his little world.
I don't wonder WHO IS JOAN or WHO IS ANN, Or WHO IS BATMAN? I only wonder WHO IS THIS LONELY, UNEMPLOYED PARASITE whose main address seems to be this site and who dedicates themself to self loathing, degradation, jealousy and hate in order to feed a need to dispise and whose arresting skill entertains us with the regularity of a Metamucilic Moron."
10:50 PM 10/3 I hope people will take time to read your whole comment. It's long but worth reading. You have summed it all up so eloquently and so "on the mark". You are by far the most intuitive and intelligent blogger to have covered all the bases as you did, and I hope that most every word in your comment can readily be understood by those who resemble your remarks, since many of them have only the capacity of a fourth grade reading structure.
True. But you still have to wonder who Batman is. I do!
Oh, I think you know, Boy Wonder.
Good one! You got me!
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF..........
There are more kids than groceries in your shopping cart.
Every dog in the neighborhood is related to your dog.
You dump your boyfriend because your husband has been paroled.
You wait in the car while your wife changes a tire.
You ever opened a beer while making love.
You have to wiggle wires under the dash to get your headlights working.
Tom Ford
Tom, I really like the "lighten up a bit" postings, but sometimes I think you put those long postings on to remove other posts below to "archival" status. You know, once the initial posts leave page 1 not many go back and comment. Intentional? hmmm
10:57 PM blogger. I thought seven per page would be enough when I started the blog, However per your (and other's,) wishes I have changed to fifteen per page before one becomes archived.
It's our blog so if you want any changes to the format, please advise.
Tom Ford
It is time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN Humor! Only I don't see it as Humor, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE ! If you feel the same, pass this on to your True American friends. Ya'll know who ya' are...
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem. !
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend
From a friend!
Tom Ford
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