A bit of humor from Ms. J. Stock to lighten the day!
This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about St. Louis .
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might
live in St.Louis.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work there, you might live in St.Louis.
If someone mentions "The Landing" and it has nothing to do with the
space shuttle, you might live in St.Louis.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you've seen a tornado touch down and ONLY thought "Darn it, I just
waxed the car", you might live in St.Louis.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in St.Louis.
If you measure distance in hours instead of miles, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again, you might live in St.Louis.
If you drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard for
some White Castles, you might live in St.Louis.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you might live in St.Louis.
If you take I-Farty-Far to Six Flags, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know what/where the Piasa Bird is, you might live in St.Louis.
If someone says concrete and you think of Ted Drewes instead of
pavement, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know what a TRAM is, you might live in St.Louis.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
might live in St.Louis.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you might live in St.Louis.
If you've ever skipped school, work, or even a court-date because you
had tickets to an afternoon Cards, Blues or Rams game, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you can say the words "Cahokia Mounds" and not think of a candy bar or female parts
, you might live in St.Louis.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you might live in St.Louis.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you might live
in St.Louis.
If you find 10 degrees a little 'chilly', you might live in St.Louis.
Thanks for the laugh Jackie!
Tom Ford
NO. 510
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might
live in St.Louis.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work there, you might live in St.Louis.
If someone mentions "The Landing" and it has nothing to do with the
space shuttle, you might live in St.Louis.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you've seen a tornado touch down and ONLY thought "Darn it, I just
waxed the car", you might live in St.Louis.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in St.Louis.
If you measure distance in hours instead of miles, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again, you might live in St.Louis.
If you drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard for
some White Castles, you might live in St.Louis.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you might live in St.Louis.
If you take I-Farty-Far to Six Flags, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know what/where the Piasa Bird is, you might live in St.Louis.
If someone says concrete and you think of Ted Drewes instead of
pavement, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know what a TRAM is, you might live in St.Louis.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
might live in St.Louis.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you might live in St.Louis.
If you've ever skipped school, work, or even a court-date because you
had tickets to an afternoon Cards, Blues or Rams game, you might live in
St.Louis.
If you can say the words "Cahokia Mounds" and not think of a candy bar or female parts
, you might live in St.Louis.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you might live in St.Louis.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you might live in St.Louis.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you might live
in St.Louis.
If you find 10 degrees a little 'chilly', you might live in St.Louis.
Thanks for the laugh Jackie!
Tom Ford
NO. 510
posted by Crestwood Independent at 16:32
4 Comments:
A very happy Fathers day to all the Dad's! I pray that your father is still with you (mine is not,) and that you will enjoy his company on his special day,
We all owe them a great debt of gratitude that can never be repaid!
Tom Ford
What? There's somebody out there who thinks laughter is still the best medicine? There's hope after all. TV is so full of crazy politicans full of ideas that make your head spin and then there's the light stuff like rapes, roberies, and school bomb threats. Hats off to J. Stock!
3:48 I agree. Hats off to you Jacque.
Sandy Grave
I just got this one in from an old friend, enjoy!
Tom Ford
Subject: THINGS THAT MAKE U WONDER AND THINK ABOUT!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you cry under water?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Hopefully I made you laugh.
Post a Comment
<< Home