From "Dales Blog" with thanks to Dale for the humor.
"Since it’s Friday, maybe this will be in time to do us some good…
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it… so I said “Implants?”
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."
Tom Ford
NO. 797
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it… so I said “Implants?”
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."
Tom Ford
NO. 797
posted by Crestwood Independent at 08:49
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