Translations of Common Euphemisms heard during the 'silly season,' AKA election year.
This was not written by me ( I received it in an email from a friend,) but it does sort of "tell it like it is," so read and enjoy.
Translations of Common Euphemisms
DEMOCRAT : REPUBLICAN :
Arsenal of Weapons: Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands: Swamp
Undocumented Worker: Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials: Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery: Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed: Well-protected
Narrow-minded: Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share: Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun: Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives: Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass: Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity: Socialism
Multicultural Community: High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress: Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich ": Self-Employed
Progressive,: Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged: Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle: Deer Rifle with scope
Investment For the Future: Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform: Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental,: Conservative
Truants: Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed: Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine: Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot: Attends Church
Fair Trade Coffee: Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich ": Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby: NRA Members
Assault Weapon: Semi-Automatic handgun
Fiscal Stimulus: New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting: Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
Accepted Fact: Horse feathers
Kind of cute no matter what side you come down on, no?
Tom Ford
NO. 982
Translations of Common Euphemisms
DEMOCRAT : REPUBLICAN :
Arsenal of Weapons: Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands: Swamp
Undocumented Worker: Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials: Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery: Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed: Well-protected
Narrow-minded: Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share: Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun: Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives: Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass: Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity: Socialism
Multicultural Community: High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress: Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich ": Self-Employed
Progressive,: Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged: Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle: Deer Rifle with scope
Investment For the Future: Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform: Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental,: Conservative
Truants: Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed: Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine: Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot: Attends Church
Fair Trade Coffee: Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich ": Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby: NRA Members
Assault Weapon: Semi-Automatic handgun
Fiscal Stimulus: New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting: Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
Accepted Fact: Horse feathers
Kind of cute no matter what side you come down on, no?
Tom Ford
NO. 982
posted by Crestwood Independent at 15:53
39 Comments:
Good heavens, homeless people are not all bums, and zealots are not people who merely "attend church". Ridiculous.
4:58 PM Blogger: "K" Good grief, your wrapped a bit tight today aren't you?
Notice it was not posted as gospel but rather a collection of some witty euphemisms! Take it or leave it but DO read it in the spirit the writer (whoever that was) intended it, a JOKE!
Face it we can ALL find fault with something now can't we. Why go out of your way to criticize something that was never intended to be real?
Tom Ford
I realize that. I just find it tiresome to have those stereotypes perpetuated, even in the name of good fun. I personally know a few who have been forced into homelessness, and "bum" isn't even close. It is just hitting too close to home, you might say.
6:22 PM Blogger: kerra, I understand completely. By the way do you have a license plate frame with "Kansas Jay hawks" on it?
Tom Ford
BUM as defined by the "free dictionary.com"
1. A tramp; a vagrant.
2. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live solely by the support of others.
How many homeless people fall within this definition?
Mr. Ford, No I don't, Anonymous, none of the people I know fit that.
I also wish to state that I am relieved and happy that our troops are hoem from Iraq, and I am proud and happy to be in St. Louis, the first to officially welcome them home.
5:47 PM Blogger: Kerra, thanks for recognizing the troops! I know they appreciate it, and as an 'old salt' from a prior engagement, I do as well.
Tom Ford
Kerra, how many homeless people do you personally know?
I know zero, so I find it hard to say why they are homeless. Maybe you can fill me on what they are telling you.
Thanks!
I know some people who became homeless when they lost their jobs and then their homes. Extended unemployment, relatives who helped, and a frenzied job search has helped get them back on their feet, at least mostly.There are many who are homeless who are not bums, not vagrants..they are people who are pretty decent citizens who got zapped with horrible luck and awful circumstances. One case happened in 2005 and they are pretty solid now, the other happened in 2009 and they still struggle, but are much better than they were. But, there was a time with both cases, had you passed them on the street, you would never have dreamed you were looked at skilled, decent people. one couple was living in their car with their 2 year old, and at that point, I imagine many who saw them assumed a lot of things, and I bet none of those assumptions were accurate.
4:01 PM Blogger: Kerra, I am wondering why their families did not step into help your friends?
It seems to me that unless there was extreme difficulties between them that would have been the logical thing to do.
I have driven many a 'homeless' person to the Rev. Larry Rice's when I worked as an officer up north.
That said I will tell you they were mostly individuals who were 'main streamed' into society when the mental facilities closed to all but a few.
Those unfortunate few were turned out by their families due to the fact that the State wouldn't care for them anymore and their families couldn't.
You see there are many types of 'homeless' in America today. In fact we see them on TV every day holding an I pad and an I phone along with their 'occupy God knows what sign!' To me these are the shiftless bums that really don't want to work, not the down on their luck crowd, and yes there is a vast difference!
Tom Ford
In both your examples, did they ever sleep on the street, or did they always have a place to stay?
Did they pan handle to get food money, if not how did they eat?
What happened to change their fortune, what did they do to be no longer homeless?
they were sleeping in their car, as I stated, and yes, families and friends did step in to help. I guess I can't help but wonder why I am being grilled on these 2 cases. The only point I am trying to make is that one can't assume anything because someone appears homeless.
7:46 PM Blogger: Kerra, i don't see you as being 'grilled' at all, just some questions to help all of us on this Blog understand the nature of the beast.
There are no assumptions being postulated here that I can see, were just trying to understand why these folks were not taken care of by the community, period.
Did they not seek assistance, were they not willing to accept help, what happened that left them in that state with no apparent help?
As an after thought, I am not much of a believer in 'luck,' I have been out of work with a 9 mos. pregnant wife but I took whatever job I could until things got better, no luck involved.
I trust they are doing much better now, because if they are not lets see what we can do to change their 'luck' (read circumstances.)
Tom Ford
yes, both sets of families are much better. One family welcomed a new baby a while back and are in a nice place to live with 2 incomes again. They were even able to adopt a dog for their older child, which was a huge thrill for them to be able to afford that. The other is still with relatives but circumstances are getting and better as they are able to save a bit. I had a relative out of work of about 4 years once. It was awful. That was about 7 years ago, and they are also doing very well now. I have done all I could to help, including someone I now right now who has needed a bit of help. I can't do much, but I help where I can here and there. I guess we all pitch in to help those who are in need.
9:49 PM Blogger: Kerra, I you run into this ever again and any part of the nuclear family is a veteran, please contact me ASAP.
My Viet Nam Veterans (chapter 1028) exists to help veterans with whatever we can, so please make me aware of it.
Tom Ford
well, I don't think the affaected families were vets. But I will definitely keep it in mind.
say, can anyone on here who has read up on the subject please explain to me what the issue is with the president and light bulbs? I simply don't get it.
5:45 AM Blogger: Kerra, the light bulb issue is one that Nancy Pelosi pushed through Congress with the help of Harry Reed in the Senate.
As of this year there were to be no more incandescent bulbs manufactured, and we were to switch to CFL bulbs (which cause 'flicker vertigo' in some cases.)
It was an imbecilic idea born out of the need to shore up the liberal 'save the planet' base for the democrat party that hasn't seemed to work.
At last blush things were heating up to the point that this foolishness boomeranged on obama, so it seems to be rescind time.
Meanwhile EVERY incandescent bulb manufacturing company has left the States for China and India where common sense seems to be more in evidence than in Washington.
By the way, the CFL bulbs contain mercury and if you want to follow the letter of the law require a 'HAZ MAT' team to clean up if you break one!
BUT, if you think that's bad wait till summer and you see the price of refrigerant R-22! The EPA has caused a spike in that one that is going to hit a lot of families very hard.
The spot price as of yesterday was over $11.00 per pound (wholesale) and climbing. This means that if you have your air conditioner serviced and it contains R-22 you bill will now be at least $150.00!
Any more 'save the planet' and someone will have to 'save us!'
Tom Ford
Tom,
You forgot the part about the GE light bulb plant in PA.
The CEO of GE is a big Obama supporter and was all for the change in light bulbs. So when this law was passed one would have thought GE would have simply converted their PA plant to mfg the new govt approved light bulbs.
Nope, GE closed the PA plant putting American Union workers out of a job and opened up a new plant in China.
Meanwhile, the GE Labor Unions still support Obama, GE PAC's still give $ to re-elect Obama and the CEO is named by Obama to some committee about getting Americans back to work.
All of this over a stinking light bulb.
I read on another blog a question which to date no one has answered that I will share here.
"Why should I vote for Obama this Nov?"
my understanding of the issue is that in 2007 Bush signed it into law, to take effect right around now. In December Obama signed a bill that delayed the enforcement of it. I never got the impression it was pushed through by anyone...there was good support for it according to the votes: 86-8 in the Senate and 314-100 in the House. That doesn't sound like anyone's arm was being twisted.
So, why then, if this was passed under Bush, are so many accusing Obama of forcing us to change light bulbs when it was doen under Bush? This is the part that puzzles me.
Kerra, so you do get it it after all!
"get it"...I am now more puzzled. I was asking a question...please elaborate.
7:24 AM Blogger: kerra, Bush is long gone, obama could have reversed this travesty buy didn't (so far.)
At some point our progressive / liberal friends need to understand that obama now owns ALL the issues on the table!
By the way, the numbers in both houses don't surprise me as ALL those fools were getting funding from GE (go figure!)
Now is the time for obama to put on his big boy pants and take credit for the sorry mess he has crested (or at least not tried fix) with his welfare state mentality!
Tom Ford
I agree. And I think it's also time, pardon me for saying, for the GOP to stop objecting to and obstructing every single thing the president attempts to do. It's a 2 way street, and the Republicans in Congress ought to be ashamed of the elementary school shenanigans they have been guilty of. I have a lifetime in that party and I am embarrassed. I am also, having been raised Republican,horrified at the lack of respect the president has gotten. There should be respect for the office, not shouting during a speech and all the other childish, disrespectful things I have seen. Both parties need a good spanking and a long period of no privledges in their rooms. If they're going to act like third graders, they should be treated like them. I tell you what, in my world, yelling "you lie" while someone in that level of authority was speaking would have gotten my mouth slapped, and that foul little man who did that a few years ago should have had my grandmother next to him. He'd have been sore for 3 days!
say, can anyone on here who has read up on the subject please explain to me what the issue is with the president and light bulbs? I simply don't get it.kerra said.
Then I replied and kerra said,"So, why then, if this was passed under Bush, are so many accusing Obama of forcing us to change light bulbs when it was doen under Bush? This is the part that puzzles me."
The part you don't get it the money GE is giving the DNC, and Obama.
And then there is this bit of money news.
According the Barack Obama's 2012 campaign website, Jon Corzine of Hoboken, New Jersey raised at least $500,000 for the president's reelection effort. Corzine, of course, has most recently been in the news for being on the wrong side of a $6.3 billion bet as head of MF Global. "MF Global filed for bankruptcy on October 31, after $6.3 billion in risky bets on European sovereign debt spooked investors and an effort to sell the company failed," Reuters reported. "Investigators are searching for as much as $1.2 billion in missing customer money, which regulators said the company may have diverted for its own needs."
Later, Corzine admitted he could not account for the $1.2 billion.
Wonder what Corzine will get from Obama for this gift?
couldn't tell you. I have no idea about any of that insane campaign funding. I am not happy with either GOP candidate, that's for sure.
4:41 PM Blogger: Kerra,"I am not happy with either GOP candidate, that's for sure."
Well, I would expect no less from you.
Tom Ford
well, are you thrilled with what's being offered up thus far??
5:38 PM Blogger: Kerra, whether I am thrilled or not dosen't matter at this point.
What I see from you post's is you really believe the democrat mantra, so why bother.
By the way to answer your question, I would vote for Sylvester the cat before I voted for obama, but then again I really don't like socialist / communists!
I think you can put me squarely into the NO column for obama!
Tom Ford
and, from what I see in your posts, you would actually vote for the cat to run our country. I am always, again, always open to anyone who throws his or her hat in the ring. Mitt and newt?? you must be kidding. A souless corporate raider and a serial adulterer who has already been disciplined for ethics violations. Now THERE'S a great choice. I'll take Obama so far any day. But, should someone who has anything to actually offer show up on the scene, I will absolutely listen. If he/she were a democrat, I bet you couldn't say the same.
Kerra, why bother, have it your way!
Your going to think what you think, and so will I. I have better things to do than to debate a party stalwart!
Tom Ford
absolutely. I hereby agree to disagree.
Please tell me why I should vote For Obama?
I would prefer not to tell you who to vote for. I do not wish to be flayed for opinions, and I have agreed to disagree. If I was not the person you were addressing, I apologize for my assumption. Perhaps someone could tell me why Mitt or Newt would be a better choice. Up to you, I agree to disagree, and I understand that differing opinions on here are often not acceptable.
Hey Kerra - I agree with some of the things you say regarding the candidates for President.
I too am upset with the way they "carry on" and get a little disrespectful to each other. Sometimes they remind me of kids playing in a sandbox fighting over a fire truck!!!!
It does get to me and embarrasses me to the point where during the debates I have to leave the room. My husband however seems OK with the bantor. Tom says I am "thinned skinned" but it angers me to listen to this tripe.
Well then - wake up and smell the coffee because this next President is going to have a lot on his plate. And thus far - while our Country is "up for grabs" i.e. ( (as I understand from the news -- Iran is going to become a real big problem) while all these guys do is bash each other. They tell us what we want to hear, and I am stuck fearing that there is no one who can beat OBama.
Newt seems right on target at times but I am a little apprehensive with some things in his past and sometimes he gets too blunt for me;
Mitt talks way too fast for me and that bothers me; plus he tries to be down to earth but falls short. He comes across a little too self-impressed to me.
Paul - the poor guy looks tired and worn and doesn't look like he isn't healthy enough to be President.
Santorum - I really like him a lot and I like the attitude he has; seems to be a real strong family man but he won't beat OBama.
I personally did not vote for OBama at the last election, and there are a few things he has done that say he is not the man who will uphold what the Constitution says. That's just what I think. I did not feel - when he was elected - that he had enough background to keep this Country on track.
So, anyhow, I do not want to argue about it, but I definitely am not very happy with the Rep. candidates.
If OBama wins - to me - it will be by default that no Rep. candidates impressed anyone. If that happens, then we are settling for OBama. Settling is the definitive word, but we may have no other choice.
I told Tom, that if that happens I just won't vote at all. He said I should not abstain from voting but I still I won't cast my vote for someone I do not feel is right for the job.
That's just the way I feel. Sorry if you disagree!
"I told Tom, that if that happens I just won't vote at all."
To all: please think about that for a minute, there have been countless battles, skirmishes, and yes full blown world wars fought by "kids" to insure we have the right to vote!
Like kerra I will not tell you who to vote for, but I will tell you to vote! This right is not present in many places on this earth, so please do not violate it or the sacred trust that goes with it!
Tom Ford
there are times when it comes down to voting for the "lesser of 2 evils", but everyone must vote. Mr, Ford and I do agree on that. It is not an option in my opinion.
Tom and Kerra - you are both correct, of course. But it still angers me that I will go to the polls "settling for" somone else; rather than going forth with whom I feel is the right fit for this very important job.
The two who really should be a cut above anybody - Mitt and Newt - so far don't get me excited. I come away from their speeches unimpressed.
I expected these two to be over the top in their words and how they posture themselves.
If Mit is the winner - I may have to put his speeches on tape because he talks so fast that he doesn't give me a chance to digest his words. He jokes around when I am not looking for jokes just resolutions on how he will handle important issues.
Newt is very good with words but I am not at all trustworthy of a person who seems to be good at words but never follows them, who has a reputation of saying "I Do" but his trail of X'es tells me otherwise. Is he also going to tell me one thing and do another - like his personal life does!
Nobody seems to know how to handle themselves in a genuine, respectful way but - anyhow - I will respectfully sign off for now.
And I will "see you at the polls".
I had to chuckle Tom when I read this article in the Post-Dispatch, mentioning "zealots." You were right! And to add a disclaimer, I'm posting this because of the coincidence of the term zealot being used, NOT to start a huge debate on PP vs. Komen.
http://www.stltoday.com/news/opinion/columns/the-platform/editorial-notebook-women-with-cancer-don-t-care-about-politics/article_bdac43de-7969-5059-8996-061b91517bb2.html
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